ARISE, you sleep-addicted bunch – it’s time to head off to work. But first, a little story for you. Now settle down …
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ONCE upon a time, most dearly beloved, there was a pleasant small seaside settlement. A crystal-clear river gurgled past plenty of firewood; the sun shone, the fruit hung low in the trees, the fish sunned themselves in the shallows and the inhabitants were not unhappy.
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BUT then, one evil day, two towering giants appeared over the mountains. One emitted sparks and carried poles and fuses; the other was festooned with pumps and tanks from which muddy water leaked. The first giant was named King Paua , while the other was called Emperor Wara.
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THE people took refuge and awaited developments; they were not long in coming. Forced to adopt cables to light their houses and cook their food, the new power source worked all too infrequently. The monstrous new refrigerators stood stark, rusting memorials to the great god Progress, about whom all had heard much, but none had actually seen.
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AT the same time, the people were increasingly unable to wash themselves or cook their meals in the dribble of water available; the river was no longer crystal, while the pumps and pipes, too often dry, were now essential to provide the necessary water.
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NOW both King Paua and the Emperor Wara charged for their services; one day Emperor Wara’s charges allegedly proved too much for King Paua, who reportedly gave up paying the bill. Some months passed. The people held their breath. Then cohorts of the vexed Emperor reportedly disconnected the King’s water supply. Ooo!
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LOSING no time, the King reportedly sent his squads to render his opponent’s machinery incapable of pumping water to the town; the sufferers were of course the Original Inhabitants, who would have been quite content with their firewood and their once-unpolluted river.
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REPORTS say a truce is now in place, following thunderous orders from the Emerald City’s great Wizard Oz. Hurriedly flushing their toilets and scuttling to their tubs, residents have taken advantage of this window of opportunity; we wish them well. Cheers!
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- Dee Nesenolis