COLUMN I
  

THERE always has to be a down side, doesn’t there?
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GOOD morning. Yesterday we reported celebrations in a certain provincial town, as floods of H2O roared from every available tap. The day before we revealed the water woes of that town’s residents under the rule of King Paua and the Emperor Wara. There, we thought – we’ve made a whole new bunch of friends.
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NOT a bit of it! No, yesterday afternoon we received word, delivered in frosty tones, from a well-known religious order in that town. Apparently their water pipes, grown rusty after many years of service, had been rent in twain by the unaccustomed pressure. Cassocks were hastily hoisted as mini-lakes proliferated and great fountains plumed into the sky.
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MEMORIES of an Ark-building gentleman were grimly recalled; the modern equivalent of the cubit was hotly debated and available stocks of timber viewed but deemed woefully inadequate. The fountains continued to splash and glitter in the sunlight.
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BUT any invocation of Noah and his cubits proved unnecessary; later reports indicated that the schism had been speedily mended, and the accustomed sedate flow of aqua restored. Thank goodness for that; we dare to hope that with the restored pipes, the wholesome and uneventful life of the Column may return to normal.
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THE whole saga would have made a wonderful movie – talking of which, it’s time to spare a thought for our film lovers. We’re happy to say there’s a clever and hugely enjoyable movie on at 7 tonight on HBO; it’s the 1990 hit The Witches – adults will revel in it and the kids will enjoy it as well.
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THE witches, led by a brilliant Anjelica Huston, set out to poison all the children in Britain; a small boy who has been turned into a mouse schemes with his Granny to outwit them. Apart from Huston, there’s Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean), the excellent Jane Horrocks and as Granny, Mai Zetterling in one of her last movies. Don’t miss it!
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AND for those who want basic blood and thunder, there’s the Academy Award winning Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman, at 8 on EMTV. Cheers!
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- Dee Nesenolis
 


 

 

 

 

 
 
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