Column 1
OVERSEAS news flash: Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored with driving around at 2am, so Bonnie lit a quarter stick of dynamite and tossed it out the car window to see what would happen. Sadly the window was closed.
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GOOD morning – and thanks Max. We’re of the opinion that everyone should do something wildly and inappropriately daft before shuffling off this mortal coil, but not perhaps as bizarre as the above, nor, if it comes to that, the following.
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STEPPING past the police car parked outside, a man entered a shop full of customers including a uniformed policewoman. Pointing a pistol, he announced that a hold-up was underway. The policewoman drew her gun and was joined, to the ominous clicking of handbag clasps, by several armed female customers. All fired together.
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POLICE located 47 used cartridge cases on the shop floor; an autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds in the hapless gentleman’s corpse, from bullets identified as coming from seven different weapons. In the light of all those pistol-toting mamas, undertaking such an escapade may be essentially unsound. But gosh, it sure sounds like fun in the US.
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COLUMN One’s broom cupboard office is overflowing with Quiz e-mails; just as we thought we had returned some semblance of order to the scene, something moved in the darkest corner – and lo and behold, there was Maud, with several entries bound to her claws.
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FOR new readers, we should explain that Maud is an elderly homing pigeon belonging to Spy, our equally derelict Madang scribbler. Just between ourselves, we thought Maud had been filed away in that well-furnished pigeon-hole in the sky, but no. With a beady glare the aged fowl, now with scant feather cover, applied her beak to the binding and unloaded her precious North Side entries.
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THE Quiz closes at 5pm today, so here’s the question once more: “J11 could actually float and more than 400 of Ju52 were created, while duralumin-covered examples were frequently seen in PNG in the 1930s.” What does this sentence refer to and where were they commonly found in PNG? Answers to DeeNesenolis@hotmail.com – cheers!
- Dee Nesenolis
Editorial