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A long and agonising wait
By STEPHEN POKANIS POPAHUN
No words can fully
describe the pain of missing a loved one incarcerated for a crime
he never meant to commit.
We cry silently and feel a great chasm of emptiness, we feel as if
a part of us is dying.
This is the way I have been feeling since my elder brother William
Pokanis was imprisoned at Bomana jail outside Port Moresby.
The moments leading up to him been taken away are still vivid in
my mind.
I remember at that time this nagging feeling inside me that danger
was imminent and that I had to go and look for my brother William
before Easter.
It was about 6am that Saturday morning when I drove off from my
home at Kerepia Barracks at Bomana.
I arrived at his workplace and was told by his workmates that he
had gone to see his family. (He sleeps at the workplace because of
he has no house).
A week later, I went back to see him and was told he left 'a few
minutes ago'. I was late again by a whisker.
The following day, Sunday at about 1pm I got a telephone call from
my niece telling me that something was wrong with Yayi (uncle).
I told my niece I would visit Yayi after the Sunday service. My
wife and one year old daughter and I drove to Waigani to see
Willie. Stopping the car at the entrance to the workshop I felt
somewhat peculiar.
I walked into the workshop and saw my brother. No exchange of
words, just a nod, acknowledging our arrival.
Sitting around him were his three young children and our niece. I
felt that something terrible had happened; something that would
change the course of our children, our families and friends in
Manus and throughout PNG.
I was lost momentarily when he broke the news, that he had
unintentionally ended the life of his wife's lover. Was this a bad
dream, a nightmare, or what? I was stunned.
I heard my soul shouting angrily 'What! Why did you do this, you
should have talked to me!'
But I remained silent and allowed him to pour out his heart. He
spoke about the unfaithfulness of his wife, his love and
commitment to his wife and children, time and years flying as he
grew older, and his yearning that one day his wife would settle
down.
I began to understand that he still loved his wife so much;
something he was taught as a very young boy living at the
'houseboy' with our father and the great elders of our clan in
Lundret Village, Manus province.
More so, I also knew that he was not a murderer, or someone who
can initiate such a cruel-heartless-unthinkable or evil plan to
take another person's life.
I knew him better than anyone in my family because we grew
together, played together, hunted and fished together. We were
like Siamese-twins even though couple of years separated us.
With brotherly love and care, I held and hugged him; he released
all his emotions kept inside of him out. We stood up, still
hugging each other knowing well that our paths will soon separate.
I realized there was no time for me to cry. I had to become a
pillar to my brother, our children, and our families.
I told him to prepare his belongings, talk to his children, and
that I will take him to the nearest police station when he is
ready. The following day, I called Boroko Police Station and asked
them to give me three days to provide counseling and other
administrative issues to my brother before he goes into prison.
It is now almost two months. I remember crying uncontrollably
every time we sit down to have a meal. After praying and thanking
God for His provisions, I excused myself and hurriedly went down
the steps so my family would not see my grief.
Food meant nothing to me. My immediate family members also were
not a concern. They are safe here with me. But my dear brother is
not here.
I felt totally useless and aging at the same time. Thousands of
torturing thoughts criss-crossed my mind as if I was William
trying to find a leeway, an excuse or an answer to all the
questions bombarding my brain. Why didn't I ask for help from my
pastors; Why didn't I talk to my brother: Why?
I long for the day when my brother will come out of prison. I will
continue to visit him (through my families because being a
Correctional Officer, the law does not allow me to see him unless
on special circumstances) when he is in prison.
I will 'never leave him nor abandon' him and our children but will
continue to remember him always and pray for him.
I plead for all citizens to sincerely and dutifully embrace the
warm relationship we have with our families and continue to have
that amber of fire burn strongly for our families, our friends,
and our people.
We must and we have to, at all times, zealously guard and protect
our laws. Obeying, and faithfully walking-the-laws of this country
is fundamental to rebuilding our identity as law-abiding citizens.
For let us not forget who we are and why we dwell in this blessed
nation; the country that is made up of league-of-nations of
different languages, cultures, customs and yet continue to blossom
against every thousand curses thrown at us.
We have thrived successfully against the tides of negativities -
we have thrived together for 37 years and we will continue to
excel and live together as one people of one country. As long as
we remain within and continue to uphold the statutes of our God
Almighty and the laws of this land - we will reign because of our
obedience and faithfulness to God and to this country.
Having said that, let us not forget or neglect our loved ones but
embrace them as long as we live and dwell on this part of the
earth.
Dedicated to all our loved ones serving time and waiting for
freedom from prison and to all Correctional Officers for the time
and effort they provide to our relatives under their care.
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