NATIONAL Council of Women president Schola Warai has used her life to make a point. For one, she has never married. She is now 45 and does not intend to engage in that particular habit of society.
Seeing the sentences above, Warai would automatically claim that such utterances could only come from the omni-directional biased mind of a man and that such focus and emphasis upon marriage and the woman’s servile role in it by a male dominated society has forced her to shun marriage.
Mind you, she does not abhor marriage. She is an active marriage counsellor herself – and don’t you be thinking what experience does she have to be one.
“I had to prove the Enga society wrong on what they think,” she told me. “They thought that we (women) were meant for bearing children and looking after pigs. I am a career person. May be it’s women’s work that drove me away from those things (marriage).
“My father was a disciplinarian and he was very threatening. He would sit us down in a 44 gallon drum for hours. It was the days of corporal punishment, you know.
“And he would say to me: ‘If you come back pregnant, I will put an axe through your stomach’. That used to scare me.”
If you know Schola Warai now, it would take some effort to imagine her ever being scared.
A threat of that nature, even if made by a family member in Engan society amounts to a promise that rarely comes back unfulfilled so one can appreciate the psychological effects upon a young girl.
There is one further incident which she remembered and further strengthened her resolve to lead a life outside marriage.
She remembered the incident in 1975 clearly. It was during discussions on the occasion of a compensation payment at Warai’s Kaiap village.
“What really challenged me most was my grandfather and an uncle made public statements that girls were made for men and it was a waste of time to send girls to school.
“They would rather pay for boys’ school fees than girls, they said. I got angry with that and made a vow to prove them wrong. That kind of provided the challenge for me to think the way I think now.”
Kaiap village, the site of the famous Kaiap Orchid Lodge, overlooking Wabag town, is a beautiful and scenic location but she hardly got to spent her formative years there.
Her policeman father, Sgt Warai Kakas and mother Lespina Tombei Kakas were constantly shifting residences with the call of duty. The family spent time in Minj, in Kundiawa and in parts of the Southern Highlands. Her education was conducted in snatches between these various locations along with her sisters and brothers. She was the first of seven children. Her father and three siblings passed away. Her mother is still an active village court magistrate at Kaiap.
A younger sister is married to businessman Rex Paki.
The year 1973 found Warai at faraway Divine Word Secondary, Madang. After four glorious years at this premier education institution, she went to the Highlands Agricultural College.
“I wanted to be different. Women were treated like second class citizens. Agriculture has always been woman’s field in PNG but when it was taught, it was more as a man’s field. This made me cross so I went into the agricultural college again to prove a point. That didn’t work out for me,” she said.
She tried broadcasting and spent 13 years with the National Broadcasting Commission. From there, she joined the Porgera Joint Venture. She is today a member of the Enga provincial assembly.
“I have been a woman activist all my life,” she said. “I was born into it. Mother was a member of the woman’s club where ever we went. When we came back home to Enga, mum was involved with the church women’s group from 1974 onwards. I helped out and that built up my interest in women’s activities, including girl guides and brownies which I was a member of.
“I don’t hate men but I don’t love them either. I want them to respect me as a person.”
Good news is on the horizon much to Warai’s relief.
“Men’s attitudes and behaviour is changing towards women in Enga and around the country. Not totally but I think it is really getting into Engans now. It is important they think of women as partners in the work force and in daily life. They are beginning to think of it this way now. And that is as it should be
“Before, men used to have pride and prestige, they did not like women who challenged them. Now they are beginning to accept and understand that a good wife makes a man rich. They are beginning to give respect where it is due.”
She is generally happy with the progress made on the national scene but admitted readily that a lot of work remained to be done and a lot of mental walls to be broken down.
“In other parts of the world, it took whole generations to achieve what we have achieved in a short time. Women are advancing into many fields. Women have advanced a lot since 1975,” she said.
The one domain Schola Warai wants more female participation and involvement is in public office and especially political office.
In both the public service and politics more women need to get involved or more to the point, be involved.
She would like to see laws passed which reserves certain seats exclusively for women in provincial and national politics.
While she stays unmarried, she does want to see family values and roles promoted. To adjust to the modern influence, we need to put in place what we have taken out of our traditional PNG societies. This is not happening.
“To do that will require both men and women working together.” Warai has a point.