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COLUMN I
GOOD morning! Time to
stretch that memory a little – well, 402 years to be precise – to Nov 5,
1605.
***
IF in school you were subjected to the agony and the ecstasy of
English history, the dates associated with the reigning British monarchs
over nearly 1,000 years were a must-learn-by-heart task. Failure to fully
absorb the often capricious relationships of those stalwarts led to many a
sore backside or rapped knuckles.
***
IN more recent times, this day has been one of family jollity and
general humbug, all because Sir Guy Fawkes tried to kill the king and blow
up the Houses of Parliament 402 years ago. King James had developed the
unfortunate habit of exiling Jesuit priests and Sir Guy, being a staunch
Catholic, decided on a somewhat explosive solution.
***
THE good knight and his fellow conspirators, who were clearly very
cross, placed 36 barrels of gunpowder around the foundations of Parliament
House. Sir Guy could have shown the IRA a thing or two. But there’s always a
spoilsport in these matters; somebody spilled the beans on Nov 4, so the
king and the Members of Parliament were not rocketed into the ether as
planned.
***
THE following day Sir Guy and his Gang of Ten were arrested, and by
January they were beheaded. In an excess of showing-off, the King ordered
their severed heads to be impaled on spikes for all to see. All of that
blood and gore and gunpowder has since morphed itself into a day of
celebration for the defeat of Sir Guy.
***
THE merriment involves the explosion of Catherine wheels, Roman
candles, Tom Thumbs and effigies of poor Sir Guy blazing away on top of
bonfires in backyards throughout the remains of the British empire. Rumours
that a similar ritual may shortly be celebrated with an obligatory barbie,
following the federal elections in Oz, have doubtless been exaggerated.
***
GUNPOWDER, unlike Sir Guy, continued from strength to strength. In
tandem with modern weapons, it’s become a genuine nightmare in PNG, one
which the Guns Committee members continue to struggle against as they try to
get their recommendations before an uncooperative Parliament. Cheers!
***
– Dee Nesenolis
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