Be bold for change

By REBECCA KUKU
IN Papua New Guinea, it isn’t every day that you meet men who are willing to stand up and fight for women’s rights. But despite this, there are a few men who do stand up, they stand up for their mothers, their sisters, their wives and their daughters. One such man is Joshua Kiruhia.
I first met Joshua or Josh as many know him at a Gender Sensitizing Media workshop that was organised by the Family and Sexual Violence Action Committee in 2014.
Joshua works with thousands of young Papua New Guinean boys and girls, teaching them about what makes a healthy relationship, the different types of violence and abuse and about gender equality and support networks in times of trouble.
Last month Joshua was invited to speak at the Divine Word University during the University’s International Women’s Night Celebrations.
He read a letter to women as part of his speech. This is his letter titled, Be Bold for Change.
Dear Women,
In this day and age women’s participation in many affairs of life has increased and it’s important that woman must work hand in hand with other women and men. The gap women have amongst themselves must be bridged and this will also help them to work hand-in-hand with the men folk as well. So striking a balance between these two is important. Women mentoring girls, each woman needs to see herself as a leader and role model for the next generation. All women must learn to build each other up. Lift as you grow. Be bold for change!
There is no deep satisfaction in climbing the ladder and stepping on everyone on your way up, reach down and pull them up with you. This does not mean you give “hand- outs” but a “hand up” that is different, they must meet you half way and work really hard too.  Be bold for change!
Women gossiping and talking other women down is an issue women face all over the world. To be honest the worst bosses, most young women face when going out into the workforce were older women because they felt threatened. I feel that it comes from insecurity and the key to getting over that is to love yourself and value yourself. I also believe being humble and admitting when you are wrong also brings respect from your employers, friends and family etc. So many people put more energy into being right than doing the right thing. You have to leave your ego at the door and always focus on the end goal. Be bold for change!
I can understand why some women carry anger towards men due to treatment they have received in the past but be the better person.
Be the change you want the world to be. If you want to be happy and treated with respect, then you should greet each person with a smile and manners. We will only be treated how we treat others and how we allow ourselves to be treated. Take ownership and accountability of your actions and not play the blame game. Be bold for change!
As mothers, care-givers and leaders of our future generation, women have an equal role in moulding our children through positive parenting. The violence you see today in homes and communities, is a reflection in the break-down of the family unit as the first institution. Men and women have lost their sense of leadership.
There are literally more options to sort out a problem rather than resorting to violence. Children are like sponges; they see everything and as mothers, care-givers and leaders, you must set a better example and not allow them to be traumatized by seeing violence when they are young. As you know children who experience violence will go down the path of abuse themselves, either alcohol, drugs or self- harm or harming their partner. Break the cycle and stop the emotional and physical violence. Teach your sons to respect everyone at a tender age. Also tell your daughters that they can be whoever they want to be if they work hard at it. You have to build a model society you want. Be bold for change!
As a young Papua New Guinean man standing here, I am part of that revolution. A revolution born from the stories of those courageous survivors and those who passed at the hands of violence.  A revolution amplified by those seated in this packed auditorium tonight and those who have sat here before.
I pay my respects to the women and men who have fought against gender oppression and the horrendous waves of violence and abuse our communities and country have had to endure. To our mothers, sisters and daughters, we salute you.
At this juncture, in commemoration of the International Women’s Night, I want to wish you all intelligent and beautiful women happy celebrations. Tonight we celebrate your successes and we appreciate your contribution to our country’s development. Your success is our success.
With that said, I know much is still yet to be accomplished and the road ahead might seem tedious, challenging cultural values in bridging the gender equality gap in this country. It is work in progress.
You have the world before you. Reach out and claim your human rights.
Be bold for change!
Joshua works for Equal Playing Field, an organisation that is founded on the belief that violence against women is preventable, and that open discussions about gender equality and respectful relationships during adolescence has the power to stop violence against women before it happens, by changing attitudes and behaviours that allow violence against women and girls to occur.