Be grateful for kindness

By REV SEIK PITOI
The story is told of an old homeless man being led to a fancy restaurant to get a meal, courtesy of a rich woman.
After the meal, the kind woman helped him to get some decent clothes and a place to stay, and employed him as a cleaner in her company.
Who was this woman? Many years ago, this gentleman, then a manager in a posh restaurant, gave away a hot meal and a cup of coffee to a homeless young girl who had dragged herself into his restaurant one cold evening. He later gave her some money and then secured some part time employment for her.
The rich woman now giving him this great deal was in fact the young lass, now a grown woman entrepreneur. The adage of the story is familiar – doing good to others is an investment. You never know when you will reap your returns.
Well, that is the normal and preferred storyline, however, that is sadly not always the case.
Man, being a fallible creature tainted with sin, sometimes does not act according to script. That is when the opposite happens and the beneficiary forgets the hand that has fed him.
Worse still, he attacks the hand, showing totally no appreciation for what was done for him. These may not be pleasant situations but they do occur.
Many a kind-hearted person has had to rethink his benevolence after similar situations have happened.
A couple of stories will illustrate:
I was told a few years ago by a sister, now deceased, about the sad situation with her neighbour in a suburb in Port Moresby.
Being a loving Christian family, the house owner and his wife reached out to the young people in their neighbourhood. Some were boys from the nearby settlement who came around with their friends.
The house owners befriended them and often gave them food and money. When the annual church camp came around, the couple invited the young men to attend. At the camp, they ‘gave their lives’ to the Lord.
Coming back, the boys became very close to the family. At least two of them slept in the family house, acting as their security guards.
One night, the family had to go away for the weekend to the village. They made all the provisions available to the boys and left them in total charge of the house. When they returned on Sunday evening, the house was totally cleared out of all their possessions – and the boys had vanished! The trust of the family had been betrayed.
Another area that ungratefulness is played out is in the risk of adoption. I heard the ‘testimony’ a man shared about the terrible childhood he went through.
He was very critical of his adoptive parents and began calling them names. He called the lady who nursed him back to life after being abandoned by his biological mother, a ‘satan lady’, and her husband, a ‘useless man’!
A friend who is related to the family and knows them well was livid. He knew the people concerned and knew they were far from the description he was giving them. He also knew for a fact that without them, this gentleman would not have enjoyed the better things in life.
To make matters worse, after his biological father’s family came to prominence, he changed his surname to be identified with them. This was a slap in the face of the family that had looked after him.
There are many other stories that may illustrate other aspects of this huge topic, but the question remains – why do people become ungrateful?
In the opening story, the young lady never forgot the person who gave her that hot meal. But in our two stories, a group of boys faked change in order to steal – despite the kindness of the family; and an ungrateful man rubbishes his foster parents to join his now famous father who had rejected him at birth.
Ingratitude is a condition of fallen man. Man is selfish and wants only what is done for him.
A person without God is an ungrateful, selfish person. He lives only for himself and cares very little for God, let alone, for others around him. In fact, the first person to express our gratitude to should be God.
The Bible says, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good” (1 Chron 16: 34). How good? The fact that we are alive today is because God gives us breath. Despite our sinfulness and failures, He still loves us. His grace forgives us and enables us to see a new day. Isn’t that enough to thank Him for?
So if we begin by thanking God for every little thing He does for us, how appreciative will we be to those around us who help us?
Rather than brood over the negative things that happen to us, we will look hard and carefully to find little things that are worth being grateful for.
Like a great evangelist once said, “Your attitude determines your altitude in life”. You will never rise up to great heights in life if all you do is complain and moan over negatives.
The Apostle Paul admonishes us to, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess 5:18). He also specifically targets our language, making sure that there be “… no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Eph 5:4). If we make thanksgiving and gratitude our language all the time, God will raise us up to soar with Him on new heights.
Finally, to those whose kindness was abused, it is hard to trust again.
As Christians, we are vulnerable all the time. Indeed, we need to be discerning and wise in how much we should trust people, especially those whose lifestyle may take a while to adjust.
But we have a God who sees and knows. His love and gestures too are abused by many, including ourselves. Yet He forgives. As we do likewise and leave it all to Him, we will again rise and soar with Him!

• Rev Seik Pitoi is a freelance writer.