Column 1

Money transfer
Wife became worried when she noticed hubby lying in bed all day staring at the ceiling. She understands that the cash situation in the family is grim after the Christmas and New Year celebrations. But why stare at the ceiling? “Honey I am trying to transfer the money in my brain into my pocket!”
Leap year
Miss Eight, a leap year baby, is looking forward to celebrating her second birthday in February. She is asking Dad if it is possible to cram four celebrations into one day. It will be special, she reasons.
Fire assistance
Countries in Oceania are offering assistance in various forms to “neighbour and friend” Australia for the fires raging across the country. New Zealand sent firefighters, PNG offered its soldiers, Vanuatu donated $A250,000 and Fiji offered “prayers”.
Loan sharks
The loan sharks are out and about. Families are broke after the heavy spending during Christmas and New Year. On top of that, some families will be struggling to make ends meet with preparations for the new school year.
Open doors
Even bus drivers are feeling the heat in the capital city and are leaving theior doors wide open while they catch a quick nap. No chance of being robbed either as the “crew” has all the money.
New reaction
The rumour mill has it that Facebook is to introduce a new reaction button to complement the existing ‘like’, ‘love’, ‘haha’, ‘wow’, ‘sad’ and ‘angry’ reactions. We cannot name the new emoticon as it is vulgar. The most we can say is that it starts with shut the….You can guess the rest.
A record
It’s only eight days into the new year and colleague has already forgotten the resolution he set on New Year’s Day. Bad start indeed.
Thought for today
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. — George Bernhard Shaw