Live your life for you, not for someone else – learn to say ‘no’

THIS is a question for young people: “How do you know someone has grown up?”
Some think a boy is grown up when he sprouts sideburns.
But then, there are people who are physically old but they cannot take care of themselves or others.
Others think it is seen in the way how one relates to people. Someone who is respectable and polite shows that s/he is mature or has grown up.
I think someone becomes a grown-up when she or he knows when and how to say “no” to requests by people to participate in activities that may not be good.
I recently heard that one of my nephews, 13, attending a primary school in Port Moresby, was threatened by his peers because he refused to participate in a group activity.
Even though he was victimised and was unpopular, I am proud of him because he decided not to participate in something he knew was wrong.
That activity, if investigated, could have seen students expelled.
I am proud of him because he learnt and is practising something that many young people have not learnt. (Many problems we face in life may be linked to our inability to say “no”.)
People often do wrong because many of their peers are doing it.
I urge you not to live like that. Do not live someone else’s life. 
Show that you are an individual and stand up for what you know is right.
It is your life and you cannot continue doing what everybody else does.
Take, for example, you do not smoke – but your best friends do and urge you to join.
Would you join them?
I decided, after I turned 19, not to touch alcohol. It is one of the best personal decisions that I have made.
I have friends who take alcohol but over time, they respected my stand regarding that.
It was not easy when I was younger.
A boss asked me once jokingly to buy him beer but I told him I could buy him a carton of soft drinks – but not alcohol.
Once, when in my mid-20s, I told an uncle to take his beer elsewhere when he asked me to keep them in my refrigerator. 
It was hard but it was the right thing to do.
That stand has minimised possible problems in my life – financial, work productivity, social, etc. 
I urge you to learn to say “no”.

Next week: Draw up rules for your lives and house