Match made in Konedobu

MARRIAGE

By ALPHONSE BARIASI
IF good things come to those who wait then the best must come to those who wait prayerfully.
At least that is what 27-year-old Constable John Andrew believes and lives by. He had waited and prayed for a wife and ‘the one’ was delivered to him – blindfolded. Well, sort of.
His wife Nichola Elvis had turned away suitors who fronted up at her papa’s house in Dauli, Hela, in typical ‘big man’ style bearing ample proof of their wealth and means. John says one had even built a new house and come fully intent on taking Nichola to it.
“They included an engineer, a pilot, a banker and an aspiring politician.”
And she turned all of them down. For what, or whom? Someone she had never seen but only heard about?
Guilty as charged! ‘Simple’ Probationary Constable John Andrew was all the while waiting and praying for Mrs Right in Port Moresby as others he knew were rushing into marriage; some only to regret their choices and opt out later or stagger on in wedded strife.
John, who was recently promoted to full constable rank, believes in the ages-old truth that all good things come to those who wait. And wait he did – after having passed out as a probationary constable from the Bomana Police College and working as at Police Headquarters in Kondedobu.
He is the only son (among six sisters) of Andrew Paliabe from Angore in Hela and Chimbu mother Nia Wogu. Life as a child wasn’t at all idyllic as the parents had separated and for much of his education, he was with his mum in Chimbu where he attended Kerowagi Secondary School and completed year 12 in 2014. He was offered a space at Dauli Teachers College in Hela but could not enroll due to financial difficulties.
He then moved to Port Moresby to live with an elder sister and upgrade his marks through the University of Technology’s Department of Open Distance Learning (DODL) centre at Gerehu Secondary School. When his application for the Architecture and Building course at Unitech was unsuccessful, he settled for basic police training at Bomana Police College. He passed out in 2019 and the last couple of years he worked as a guard at the Police headquarters in Konedobu.
The quest for learning was still alive in him so while on police duty he was also doing a Diploma in Public Administration course at the Pacific Institute of Governance and Leadership (PILAG). He completed that and graduated last year but not before applying for another course, this time the Diploma in Human Resource Management. He also completed that in the given time and applied yet again for the degree programme.
“My desire to further my education is still there and I will pursue that dream. As they say, where there is a will there is way.” With HR training, he hopes to work with the human resources section of the constabulary in future.
And it seems the hunger for learning is not lost on his wife.
John says Nichola does not only have a desire for knowledge but is industrious as well.
“She knows my salary may not be sufficient for household needs as well as paying for her education next year. She therefore has started selling small goods to earn some extra income on the side.
“With that extra money and a little help from me she will upgrade her secondary school marks at the NCD Flexible Open Distance Education centre and apply for nurse training at the end of next year.
“She has my full backing as I’ve vowed to her that ‘as long as I work, you will get an education and a job’.”
It is all because John says their love was like a fairy tale and he is eternally thankful to God for all that has unfolded in his life.
“It is difficult to choose a partner. In my case, I sat down and pondered on marriage and the future. Then I posted on Facebook my convictions about the subject, saying that the right one will always come at the right moment. We just have to be patient.

“The next day, I received a call from my cousin at home who said ‘what we’ve discussed has borne fruit.’”
The two young men had been exchanging gossip about Nichola who was related to the cousin and because of that close kinship, the cousin was prevented by customary etiquette to approach her directly about Andrew’s interest.
And it turned out, he didn’t have to because the girl’s mother herself approached the cousin and inquired after John.
While all that was going on, the girl, Nichola had no clue at all about the man.
But in the end, the match was made and they couple were speaking over the phone.
What happened later happened so fast John himself thinks it was much too good to be true.
After only that initial phone conversation, the girl agreed and immediately cut of any communication with another boyfriend. A week later, she was on a plane with her dad to Port Moresby to meet her future husband for the first time.
“She didn’t even see me before then. The first time she did was at the Jacksons Airport on June 21, 2021,” John beamed.
The couple were wedded at the Bomana SDA Church on Aug 26. The father had already returned home so didn’t witness the solemnities. But he will be waiting to accept the traditional bride price in December at his village. The bride’s family had asked for K20,000 and 36 pigs but she persuaded them to knock the cash component down to only K2,000. (That is a 90 per cent change of heart!)
She wants to chase after that nursing dream of hers and if her beloved empties his bank account for bride price there would be some difficulty and perhaps even some tension in raising the necessary fees in time for her education, she argued.
Everything had turned out very well for Andrew and he only credits his faith and the Almighty for that.
“I was baptised an Adventist when I was in Grade 4 at Dauli. Later when I became a man an Adventist pastor had advised me to get married only to an Adventist.
“I prayed and waited on God for a wife…my prayers have been answered and my patience paid off.”
Having gone the journey, Andrew has some advice for those planning to get married.
“Don’t rush things. The kind of family, the kind of children you raise, will depend on your choice of a partner.
“In telling my story, I also want people to know that while there have been stories of policemen abusing their wives, there are good ones too.”
One final point: John says that a small but important point about his wife is that like him, she does not take soft drinks, which is a good for their family health and finances.
“My life is complete,” he says simply.