Son urges mom to leave abusive dad

Weekender
LIFESTYLE
Archie, Victor and Mehlisa.

By DANIEL KUMBON
ARCHIE Iso Kundal loved his mother very much.
He did not like to see his father beat her often. But one day he told her to escape from his abusive father and go to her people on the coast. And never come back until he and his brother Victor were old enough to defend her.
The two small boys never saw their mum enjoy one happy moment in her life beginning when Archie started to learn to walk, talk and think to the time he started attending school.
Often, Archie and victor would see their mother lock herself in the room and cry a lot while she nursed her wounds. But being young, the two small boys could never comprehend the full extent of the verbal, mental and physical pain she endured.
One day in 2016, when Archie was just 12 years of age, he saw his father punch his mum on her nose. He inflicted other wounds on her body too which caused a lot of bleeding all over her body.
The sight hurt Archie immensely. She did not deserve to be punched like that for voicing her right. She wanted her husband to refrain from seeing other women. She was afraid of contracting Aids.
This was not the first time he had punched her in front of the two boys. They were small, they could do nothing but watch helplessly.
But that day, Archie did not like to see too much blood on his mum’s beautiful face. He told her to escape to the coast away from his father. And run away she did when the opportunity presented itself.
Then after fours year, on March 30, 2021, Annie was freely able to recount all her sad experiences. And how she had got involved in a small fishing venture.
She was seated in a comfortable chair and slowly sipped soft drinks with a relative from her village at the Food Junction in Vision City shopping mall in Port Moresby. She was in a happy relaxed mood.
That day, she said she was waiting to travel by PMV bus to Kerema in Gulf in the next hour. She was going to witness the delivery of a new dinghy. It would be used in a small fishing venture she was involved in with two brothers from Kikori.
The name of the small fishing venture is Airi Giai Fishing Business. She is the secretary of the venture. It has an agreement in place to supply marine products like fish maw, shark fins, trochus shells and others to an Asian seafood company based in Port Moresby.
The trio have been operating the small business for over a year now. Annie said she was involved in the project for her three children in mind – Archie, Victor and Elisa.
She said, one other reason she left was because her husband did not work. All five of them – the two of them and their three children were dependent on the salaries of his parents – Rose and Johannes Kundal. Both are public servants but soon they will retire. They gave Annie K200 every fortnight and provided all the food. But the family of five could not possibly continue to live on like that.
“I had to fight him. I was afraid of Aids. If he married a second wife, I wouldn’t have cared less. It is their custom. But I did not like it when he hooked up with many strange women. I had to avoid him; you know. And he beat me.
“He did not respect me and the children. Sometimes, when I was not there, he brought different women to the house in full view of my children. I hated that,” she said.
That day when Ismael punched her on the nose and saw all the blood, Archie boldly told her to run away to her relatives in Kerema. He told his mum never to come back until he and brother Victor grew strong to protect her.
“It broke my heart when my son talked to me like an adult. He was only 12 years of age. He needed me but how come he spoke like that? He gave me the courage to make plans to escape from my abusive husband,” Annie said.
Archie had indeed reached a stage where he realised his mum had suffered terribly. He felt she had to go before anything serious happened to her.
“He tried to clean my wounds but became upset when there was too much blood all over my face. He looked at me straight in my eyes and told me to run away.
“I am fully convinced he and his brother Victor will grow up to be successful in whatever they do in their adult lives. I hope they will never abuse their partners, but treat them with care and respect.”
She said she is never far from her children. They talk all the time via mobile phone. It warms her heart to speak with her two boys and her daughter. She vowed to live for her three children.
Her chance to escape came in 2016. But this was not the first time to run away. She had tried three times before. Actually, she left for ever when her dad Jimmy Aku sent an urgent message for her to travel to Daru. He was very sick and wanted her to look after him.

“ He tried to clean my wounds but became upset when there was too much blood all over my face. He looked at me straight in my eyes and told me to run away.”
A family photo from happier days.

The Kundal family released her to go nurse her dad, hoping she would return. But for Annie this was her chance to make her escape. And Archie told her not to return.
“I felt really safe in Daru. I didn’t want to go back to Wabag. I had suffered enough. My life is my own and wish to live it the way I want to. But I am sorry I left Papa Johannes and Rose like that. I love them so much. They are the best in-laws ever. I am proud of them but I do not like their son for disrespecting all of us.”
They all lived in Johannes Kundal’s house at Aipus in Wabag town. It stands near the Highlands Highway, about five minutes’ walk away.
It had been easy for her to make her first three escapes. On the planned day, she would casually walk to the highway as if going to the market up the road at Pawas. She would then wave down a PMV bus travelling to Mt Hagen. From there she flew to Port Moresby using a prepaid ticket.
From Port Moresby, she would hop on a PMV and travel up the Hiritano Highway to Kerema town. From there, she would board a boat all the way to west Kerema to her dad’s village. Sometimes she traveled further up the coast to Daru where her late father Jimmy Aku lived and worked for the provincial government.
During that first escape with Archie and Victor, she had gone to live in her uncle Kevin’s house in Orokolo where Rose and Johannes found her.
Rose Kundal said they had risked their lives to follow Annie and the two boys because they loved them.
“Annie is a good woman. She did all the work in the house. We observed that she respected us and her husband too. She was the perfect woman,” Rose said.
Rose and her husband Johannes love Annie. They always wish and hope that Annie would return. They wish to see their son to treat her properly and allow her to come back to reunite with her children and make a good family.
“I am praying day and night for Annie to come back. I am asking the Lord to reunite them. She is a good girl,” Rose said.
She loves her son too. He is her only child. She believes the reason he fought with Annie all the time was because they – Johannes and Rose – wanted him to live with Annie only. He must have loved a girl from Tambul. He wanted to take custody of the three children and let Annie go.
“He wanted us to marry this girl from Tambul as second wife. But we didn’t want that. It’s against Bible teachings. He must respect our Christen beliefs,” Rose said.
Annie admits she had made a mistake to fall for her husband when she was a student at the International Training Institute at Badili. Her abusive husband was a teacher there. She speaks from experience to advise young girls to be careful when they decide to choose a lifetime partner.
“Do not rush into marriage or start intimate relationships at an early age. I realise I made a mistake. I loved my husband at first sight but never knew what was in his mind. I did not know his background too. I should have completed my training.”
Annie had completed Grade 10 at Daru Secondary School in 2002. The following year, she upgraded her marks and applied to attend the International Training Institute where she met her husband.
In 2004, she was forced to abandon her studies and went to Daru when she discovered she was pregnant. In 2005, her first son Archie was born.
She brought the baby to Port Moresby to show him to her husband. Her husband went to Wabag first. Rose and Johannes wanted to see the baby. Annie remained behind and gave the four months-old to a policeman to take up to Wabag.
Johannes accepted the baby and asked Annie to fly up immediately. She was accepted well into the family. But her husband did not want her there. He beat her often. She escaped three times. On her fourth escape, she never went back to Wabag.
Rose Kundal understands why Annie ran away. She and other woman in the wider community must not be subjected to constant abuse by their husbands. The Government and churches have introduced new ways of living. People should accept those teachings and try to cope and learn how to raise good balanced families so the children can grow up to be good responsible citizens of this beautiful country.
“People like my son should know that it’s totally wrong to abuse their wives. They are somebody’s daughter. He must be appreciative of Annie for giving him three very healthy children,” she said.
“My son must accept Annie back into our family and respect her as a woman. And Annie, please know that we love you. Please come back home.”

  • Daniel Kumbon is a freelance writer.