The singing groom

Weekender

By GRACE MARIBU
JUDAH was always the ring bearer.
This time, however, two other little boys are bearing the rings. Judah is now the groom. In his larger-than-life unique way, Judah decides to wear a sulu and sings to his bride as she comes down the aisle.
There is not one dry eye in the church as Gia Nou, looking radiant behind her veil, walks down the middle of the church on the arms of her elder brother, Albert, to be given away. Pastor Ian Memafu is the marriage celebrant and Judah’s father. He himself can barely hold it together. In a voice strained with tears, Pastor Memafu apologises to the gathered friends and family for being so emotional before proceeding.
“It was memories; memories came flooding back of when I sang to my own bride, Judah’s mother, at Cassowary Road United Church in Lae. I did the same thing. I sang to my wife.”
In the cross-cultures of Papua New Guinea of today where fewer and fewer Papua New Guineans are making the effort to commit themselves in marriage with ceremonies like weddings, Judah Memafu’s and Gia Nou’s wedding on 26 November 2016 at Sione Kami Memorial Church in Port Moresby is worth talking about.
“We believe it is important to do things the right way. To receive blessings from both our parents and family and more importantly from God,” said Judah.
“Building a life with the right and proper foundation is important. Otherwise we risk experiencing a rocky life. This, for us, was the right and proper step.”
As far as ‘upmarket’ Papua New Guinean weddings go, the Memafu wedding is up there with the best, in all its aspects – attendance, planning, creativity, program, catering, and amalgamating the Christian/modern/traditional-PNG elements into this 1000-plus guest wedding.
Jennifer Memafu, the chief wedding planner and Judah’s mother, said this was one of the biggest, most detailed weddings she has organised to date. Jennifer has organised many weddings as part of the pastoral care work she undertakes to help her husband.
“This one was, of course, really special to me. It was my eldest child and only son’s wedding. I pulled out all the stops,” Jennifer added.
The wedding party included two best men, two maids of honour, 11 groomsmen, 11 maids, five flower-girls, and two page boys; a 10-member wedding band; a professional production crew and set-up; a film crew; a professional radio personality for master-of-ceremony duties; a semi-professional wedding photographer; a volunteer magazine writer; and catering that covered menus from western cuisine to traditional Papua New Guinean.
Special guest for the Memafu family, especially Jennifer, was 78-year-old ‘Bubu’ Anne Cochrane, Jennifer’s teacher at Aiyura National High School and adoptive mother, who flew all the way from New Zealand to witness the occasion and contribute a unique wedding cake.
“Initially, we wanted something small but as things progressed, we realised that a big wedding was impossible to avoid. So we thought, why not add some unique flavour to it. After all, we are doing this just once,” said Judah. The wedding began at 1pm. Judah and his 13 men arrived at the church, each in a Comfort Taxi cab soon after 1pm; Judah decked out in a Pacifica-printed black and white sulu and matching shirt while his men stayed close to the Pacifica theme with black sulus, purple shirts and white thongs.
The spacious Sione Kami Memorial church was filled to near-capacity by 1.30pm. The wedding procession began with a dance performance by the maids and the groomsmen as they made their entry to the front. The maids were all dressed in purple full-length dresses with wide tropical-print shoulder ruffles, reminiscent of old idyllic Pacific times. The attire was designed by local designer, Helen Tau, Gia’s cousin.
Up next were the two page boys, each bearing the rings. Then came the flower girls in their white stockings, purple mini-dresses and flower baskets, scattering Bougainvillea petals all over the hand-made mats woven specially by Judah’s aunties from Gulf and lain as the ‘red carpet’ for the bride to walk upon.
Then Gia came gliding down the aisle, looking resplendent in a gorgeous strapless gown and wearing the most beautiful smile that made her easily the ‘princess’ of the day.
On cue, Judah took up the microphone and started singing ‘God Bless the Broken Road’, a song that reflected their difficult relationship to that point.
“I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you…”
Judah later remembered.
“It was a dream. I was so emotional because finally the day is here. I surprised her with singing because I wanted that moment to be ‘just the two of us’ moment. The plan was to make her cry. But it backfired and I ended up crying and going off-key,” said Judah.
Pastor Memafu began his short sermon on the biblical importance of marriage, the recital of the vows and the exchange of rings – all of them emotional moments but rescued with humour and cheer by the pastor and Judah himself. The couple took its first Holy Communion together, then Reverend Alu Daniel said a beautiful prayer of blessing over the couple, and the signing of the register followed. The recessional ended formalities. The wedding party was then whisked away to Port Moresby Nature Park for the photo shoot session and was returned to the church grounds two hours later in time for the reception which was held at a marquee next to the church.
The reception catered for guests, family members, workmates of both the bride and groom, friends and many others. Dishes included both modern and traditional Papua New Guinean menus that reflected Gia’s Motuan/Hula lineage and Judah’s mixed ethnicity of Gulf, Madang, New Ireland, and Sepik.
Guests ate and there was still more to take home.
“Gia comes from a big family, like me. We have a large reach of friends due to our work among young people as well as old school friends. I know as well that due to my parents ministry work, there are many who have seen me grow. We wanted everyone to be there to witness our big moment,” said Judah.
Judah and Gia have thanked both their parents, family and friends for helping them make it a memorable occasion. Judah Memafu and Gia Nou met through their work with Scripture Union, an inter-denominational organisation that encourages young Christians towards the Word of God at an early age.
They both agree that it was Judah’s gift of a “bar of chocolate” to Gia at the 2013 Scripture Union Camp at Laloki High School that started between them the friendship and subsequent romance.
They also agree that their relationship has been tinged with heartbreak and tears, especially over Judah’s uncertainty about his commitment. This rockiness in the relationship was acknowledged in the wedding vows they made to each other.
Today, that uncertainty is gone. Judah is glad he has committed to the wedding.
“Oh, I am the happiest man alive! I am blessed to have found ‘The One’, to journey the rest of life with. Gia is, and always will be, the best thing that has happened to me,” Judah said. Judah is now taking it easy at home. He has resigned from his work at EMTV but in the new year, this 24-year-old is taking up a new assignment overseas with a church organisation specialising in music called Planetshakers.
His bride will later be following him down south. Already, their life together is fast opening up to new horizons.
And how does he feel about discarding his Page Boy duties as a ring-bearer to someone else?
“Cometh the hour; cometh the man,” he said, reciting an old saying.
That seems like a thrown gauntlet to the two youngsters after him. But it won’t be another 20 years or so before we can be sure to hear another ring-bearer-turned-groom story from this corner of Port Moresby.