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Thanks, mothers
“I carried you within my body, you slept on my chest, I kissed your little toes and wiped your tears. I have been vomited and peed on, spent sleepless nights cradling you, but I would not have it any other way. My body is not magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror, I see a Mum – and there is no greater honour, privilege or blessing.”
Smart Mum
Daughter: Why are computers so smart?
Mother: Because they listen to their motherboard.
What’s in a name
Wife was checking her husband’s phone and came across a contact named Covid-19. She called the number – and her phone rang. Oops.
Divorce share
This what happens when you share your properties and assets after a divorce. Everything is halved, even the house.
For women
Ladies, the perfect husband or boyfriend does not smoke, does not drink, does not cheat – and does not exist. Happy Mother’s Day.
Who’s a jaddy
Daddy and Jaddy, the new buzz word bandied about on social media, sound almost the same but not necessarily of the same man. Don’t confuse the two.
Not money
Parramatta Eels star halfback Mitchell Moses says it is not about the money but which club he feels comfortable playing at which is important. No luck there for Broncos.
Thought for today
Do not wait for things to get easier, simpler or better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise you will run out of time.
Top quote
“The survey (of businesses) shows that a year after the announcement of the Government’s stimulus package, 75 per cent of businesses are still yet to create a positive impact on businesses, with 59 per cent rating the stimulus package as not effective at all.” – PNG Business Council executive director Douveri Henao.

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