Help available for offenders of abusive and violent behaviour

IF your anger means you are acting in an abusive or violent way it is important to get help.
You might feel worried that asking for help will get you in trouble, but it is often the most important first step towards changing your behaviour.
You can contact your medical specialist.
They can talk through your options and refer you on to any local services.
Your province will run programmes to help perpetrators of domestic abuse change their behaviour.
Phone line offering advice, information and support will be available soon.
They run programmes across the country to help you understand and change your behaviour.
What can friends and family do?
It can be very difficult when someone you care about is experiencing problems with anger– especially if they sometimes direct their anger towards you, others close to them, or themselves.
We are all responsible for our own actions, so ultimately it will be up to them to learn how to manage and express their anger appropriately.
But there are still lots of things you can do to help support them:
l Stay calm;
l Try to listen to them; If you can, allow them time to communicate their feelings without judging them.
Often when someone feels that they are being listened to, they are able to hear other people’s points of view as well.
And sometimes just being given permission to communicate angry feelings can be enough to help someone calm down.
l Give them space; If you notice that continuing the conversation is making it worse, give them space to calm down and think.
This could be something like going into another room for a while, or spending a few days apart.
It’s important to give yourself space as well, so you don’t find yourself getting too angry.
l Set boundaries; While there are lots of reasons why this can be difficult, it’s important to set limits and boundaries.
Be clear in advance about what sort of behaviour is and isn’t acceptable to you, and think about what action you can take if someone crosses the line.
You don’t have to put up with any behaviour that makes you feel unsafe or seriously affects your own wellbeing.
l Help them identify their triggers; This is something you can try when you’re both feeling calm, away from any heated situation.
Identifying someone’s triggers for anger can help you both think about ways you can avoid triggering situations, and plan how to handle them and how to communicate when they do arise.
But try not to be judgmental, or harsh.
While it can be useful to give specific examples of when you remember them getting angry, be aware that this is probably upsetting for them to think about;
l Support them to seek professional medical help research anger management courses.
l Look after your own wellbeing. It can be difficult at times to support someone else, so make sure you’re looking after your own wellbeing too.

• Next issue: What if their behaviour is abusive or violent?