Polygamy and motherhood

Words and pictures by PISAI GUMAR
POLYGAMY, the practice of having more than one wife, is challenging many women in Watut, Morobe in raising their children to be part of a healthy, wealthy and educated community.
Most women whose husbands have up to four other wives keep their issues to themselves, suffering silently as if accepting polygamy as a given.
Those women whose husbands have abandoned them with children suffer spiritually, physically, socially and mentally in their efforts to nurture children.
A widow will normally be taken as an additional wife by a bother of the deceased husband.
Culturally, it is to maintain the status in family property, including the widow and children of the deceased person to avoid them falling into the hands of another man.
Having been born in such an environment and experiencing the troubles first hand , Watut LLG president Waka Daimon hopes to change this cultural norm.
Polygamy simply deprives the liberty of women and young girl’s and their basic human rights, wishes and aspirations to conduct themselves in any way they pleased.
Daimon wants to ensure that women are given recognition and encouraged to participate in all aspects of socio-economic activities in their Watut communities where men still regard themselves as ‘bosses’ regardless.
Daimon obviously knows the norm in Watut that young girls at the age of eight are given away to older men to nurture them, until the girls reach puberty and reach adulthood then the care-givers marry them.
“So you see how Watut culture deprives the rights of girls and women at a very early stage in life at childhood to teenage years,” Daimon says.
When young girls and women menstruate, they are cast away to hide in garden makeshift shelters until their periods end.
In a sense, the cultural norm makes women and girls feel inferior.
Daimon therefore is keen to roll out again another programme for young girls attending primary schools, starting at Pararoa Primary School, in partnership with Days For Girls (DFG) International for meri’s malo (women’s pads).
The meri’s malo programme will complement the recent women’s training for family health and hygiene, food preparation and handling training.
DFG International ambassador Wendy Christie, through the enterprise name Meri’s Malo, launched the first ever school distribution of 230 sanitary kits to female students of Bowali Primary School in Yanga village, Lae earlier this month.
Christie noted that school girls in PNG missed classes for up to week each month during their menstruation period if they did not have access to feminine hygiene products.
“Through the distribution of DFG kits we are ensuring that girls can continue their education despite having their ‘sik mun’ or period,” Christie said.
The sanitary kit contains a beautiful drawstring bag with two shields, eight liners, two plastic zipper bags, one facecloth, small soap and two panties. The DFG kit is washable and can last for two to three years.
Daimon said the inception of meri’s malo would ensure many rural school girls did not to miss classes and also help adult women who have no access to hygiene products in urban areas.
“When we educate young girls, mothers and women, we are educating and inspiring our homes and community for a brighter future,” Daimon said.
Daimon is rolling out women empowerment trainings assisted by manager Raune Jambert, local level government community development officer Alisa and women’s representative Christine Ben.
Daimon aspires to instil hope in women who feel vulnerable when abandoned by husbands due to polygamy, or widows and young girls being forced to marry.
Bulolo health environmental inspector Geraldine Maino facilitated the educational life-skills training for the women to make ends meet in the wellbeing of their families.
Bulolo district community development officer Frazer Peter noted that a critical barrier was in illiterate and semi-literate couples that still hold onto the traditional polygamy norm and that hindered about 80 per cent of the rural women to come out and learn new ideas to liberate themselves.
“The illiteracy level in rural women coupled with polygamy culture undermines rural women’s ability and underlying values of family unity,” Peter says.
“It makes women feel vulnerable and marginalised and they have a lower self-esteem than their husbands and men and that is total ignorance of women’s God-given innate abilities.”
Peter noted the Watut women’s case as similar to Waria, Wau Rural, Buang, Mumeng and some parts of the Wau-Bulolo urban area.
“Watut is no exception and it shares similar cultural linkages with Menyamya as far Marawaka in Eastern Highlands,” Peter said.
Much of the community development trainings are family and village empowerment oriented and are aimed at encouraging existing community structures and leadership systems while advocating gender equality and fairness.
The recent health and hygiene, food preparations and handling training was in partnership with the Upper Watut Women’s Association as a way forward for local women.
Peter aims to set up Bulolo district’s National Council of Women network beginning at ward level to link the district with the provincial and national levels to make sure women in LLGs and districts have a fair voice in the political arena.
The 507 participants included 260 from Otipanda and 247 from Snake River. The women contributed K10 each, the LLG allocated K2,000 and Upper Watut Women’s Assocation contributed K3,000 to host the training.
Among the group, 42 also received informal trading licenses and 465 will receive their trading licenses after paying the required fees.
Jambert encouraged the village women to be brave and pursue their dreams to undo some Watut customary beliefs to step in a new direction to support their families.
“Family homes are the basis of four aspects in human lives – spiritually, socially, physically and mentally. When parents love, care and respect each other, peace prevails.
“Everything begins and ends inside family homes therefore Watut women should understand the purpose of acquiring certificates in any women and family empowerment trainings,” Jambert said.
“Similarly, a business starts in a family home then expands out to public, and I urge you all to understand the business norms and culture, more importantly, understand yourself first and secondly fix your household,” he said.