An abortion she regretted

THE last thing she saw was the ceiling light. She was injected with something and the room started spinning and growing smaller and then she suddenly fell asleep.
She woke up with pins and needles all over her body, she could neither talk nor feel anything. The doctor was talking to her but she couldn’t figure out what she was saying. She could hear nothing but echoes in her ears.
Still feeling dizzy she got up, sat on the bed for a while until she gained consciousness then walked out from the hospital. As soon as she stepped out, the wind blew right in her face. The place was shivering cold and the sky was dull.
Her last class came to an end with the sound of the school bell. Exhausted, she grabbed her bag and came out. Her mum was already waiting for her at the parking lot. She was part of the school volleyball team at that time and they were supposed to go for training that afternoon but it was cancelled so she went straight home.
There was an upcoming championship and they were going to be challenging the other school in the next town. Her parents were so strict on her that when she didn’t have training, she would go straight home. She didn’t hang around with her friends that much. All she did after school hours was to stay indoors, do her homework and play volleyball.
Without a final training session they went head to the volleyball championships. Their school won the game so the girls in her team planned a party at the captain’s house and asked her to join them. At the party she was introduced to a boy whom she found very appealing even though he was three years older than her.
After that night, they started dating and slept out for a few nights. They met up every day at school. It felt so right but she started to lose concentration on her studies. She also skipped classes and sometimes she didn’t attend trainings just to go hang out with him. She even started to sneak out from the house when her parents were fast asleep. All of this was happening without the parents knowing or even suspecting anything.
She did not realise that what she was doing was risky because she was so into him. She just loved being around him and spending most of her time with him until the day came when she found out that she was pregnant.
She cried the whole night. She stopped answering her friend’s phone calls and she even stopped going to school. She was so scared to tell her parents about it. She felt so alone and helpless. All her dreams came crashing down. She tried telling her boyfriend about it hoping to get some assuring words and comfort from him but instead he was so disappointed and mad with her.
He kept on pressing on the idea of getting an abortion.
She just wanted to reverse everything so that all of these would not have happened in the first place. She didn’t know what to do next. She didn’t know who to turn to.
A few weeks passed before she gained the courage to tell her parents. Her mum was pissed off with her. Her dad didn’t want anything to do with her, he couldn’t even look at her.
Mum kept on stressing about their family’s reputation and what other people would say and think about them. They both started talking to her into getting an abortion as soon as possible.
She felt helpless. Her friends from school and the volleyball team eventually found out and they all began pressuring her to get an abortion. They kept on talking about the team’s reputation and everything and didn’t even bother to ask how she felt about the whole situation.
It was a dead end; she was left with no choice. So she went to the hospital. The doctor told her that she was five weeks pregnant. She asked if it wasn’t too late to get an abortion and he said it wasn’t but then asked her if that was really what she wanted.
She was still unsure but with the pressure that was coming from her boyfriend, her friends and both her parents she was left her no choice. She didn’t want to disappoint and embarrass her parents or her team mates so the abortion was the only option left.
As she walked out of the hospital after successfully completing the procedures of the abortion, she felt so guilty, disgusted and selfish. She couldn’t even bear the sight of her own reflection.
Her mum picked her up and dropped her off at the house. She realised that she just hurt someone who was harmless, someone who had neither strength to fight back nor a voice to say something about the situation.
She thought that getting an abortion was going to be okay but things just got worse because she stopped a heart from beating and it was dreadful.
She regretted it all.

  • Korina Posikei from New Ireland is in Grade 8 Red at New Erima Primary School in NCD.

Hurting after their divorce

SINCE Papua New Guinea is into this so called gender-based violence, no one cares about what’s going on in the minds of children when parents are separated or divorced.
Family is all that matters to children. They wish that they would have a happy normal life that they are so used to.
For me, life was going so well when my mom and dad were together. I don’t know how they met each other but they don’t talk about any of it with me. Having fun and going out with them, taking pictures together and travelling from one place to another was something I’ve never imagined.
Sometimes I could even go to my dad’s office and spend the rest of the day in there, since he was the headmaster of a school. On other days I would be at my mom’s work place, when she was a nurse. That became my daily routine, because I had not started school yet. I was six years old then.
Since I was the only child in the family, they gave me everything I wanted, which is common for every parent who has only one child.
Spending time with them was the best thing I could do in my life. Often times, I would play around with my best friends.
Everything was going well but at times I started seeing mom and dad arguing over small things, although it didn’t bother me. I was only eight years old that time and did not think seriously about them.
I started going to school when I was seven years old and that was when I started hanging out with my friends a lot. When I went back home after school, I would hear my small cousins telling me that mom and dad had been arguing again. From then on, everything got serious and I realised that every time I came back from school, they would tell me that there was fighting going on between my parents.
At dinner time, they would pretend in front of me as if nothing bad was going on between them. Things started getting serious and I felt like everything was going the opposite way instead of what I had expected. Dad started drinking and would come home and argue with mom. Sometimes when he got frustrated he would destroy things in the house. No one tried to stop him when he did that, not even my uncle, and I don’t know why.
I was the one they would put in front of him and when he saw me, he calmed down. Ever since then, I was used to stop their ongoing fights. I was starting to get afraid that something bad might happen to mom and dad. Even my aunts and uncles started complaining about the everyday arguments. Sometimes I questioned myself, wondering what to do next.
One odd morning, I woke up and my dad told me that he was going to leave for a while. I suddenly felt so weak when I heard him telling me that. I wanted to go with him but he refused. My mom also didn’t want me to follow him.
I said goodbye to him, he hugged me and left for town. I was crying while watching him go.
Mom and I left for the house and we spent the day by ourselves. It was so odd and unusual that day. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became. The thoughts usually ruined my days. I didn’t stop asking mom when dad would be home but she just ignored me and didn’t even want to answer my questions.
Every day, I woke up missing dad around the house and I could wait and wait hoping he would come home. It just didn’t happen. Every day I felt hopeless and caught up thinking about him why he wouldn’t come to see me.
Mom was so fast, she just moved on with her life. As an eight-year-old child, I was getting suspicious.
I don’t know if that is is normal for aneight-year-old child. I can’t even remember one single time seeing my mom worrying about dad. It was strange seeing my mom come home late at night. I thought it was her normal time to end the day.
My dad left and never came back for me and my mom. One afternoon, I was playing with my sisters and mom came and told me to go to the house and wait for dinner. I left my sisters and did as she told me. We both had dinner together in silence and I felt like she was going to say something.
After dinner, she sat me down in front of her and she said, “I have something very important to tell you. Your dad is going out with another lady and I think he’s going to marry her.” She didn’t stop yet and I was already in tears. She continued, “You know that I can’t take care of you by myself so I’m going to need someone to help me raise you up.”
I understood what she was saying. I was running out of breath while sobbing. She hugged me so tight and I just fell under her arms and was motionless.
The next morning I woke up and realised that I fell asleep last night while sobbing under my mom’s arms. My head was filled with all kind of questions of whys and hows. I still didn’t understand why my dad would do such a thing.
Since last night I felt some kind of feeling that I couldn’t explain to the world and hundreds of questions run through my mind. I even ask myself why mom and dad were doing this to me. Why is this happening? Why are things ganging up on me? ‘
I tried to live a normal life when mom and dad wanted to marry their so-called new husband and wife. It just didn’t feel the same, the place I always called home was never the same as it used to be.
Sadness and grief always appear in front of me when I see mom and her new husband being together. Everyday mom was so different, she never spent that much time with me like she used to when dad was around. She was so brain-washed by the new husband.
My aunts tried their best to be good mothers towards me but it didn’t change how I felt towards my parents. I once heard stories about single parents and how their children felt so hopeless without their mothers or fathers being close to them. Now I really feel how they felt like. I tried to live in the same lane with them but that didn’t suit me at all.
Every day seeing a family having fun together made me feel so sad and I just wished everything went back to normal.
I would ask myself why they divorced. They don’t have any idea how I feel when seeing other children living with their whole family.
Parents don’t realise how it feels like to live with a mom and a dad being separated or divorced. It hurts so much that parents have to know this. I’m always grateful for my friends and the people that I can call family because they were so supportive, encouraging and loving.
Writing this story as a 15-year-old sucks when I always think back. I’m so grateful for myself because I was strong and brave enough to overcome it, even if it happened to me at a very young age.
As a 15 year old, I want to encourage young people to make wise decisions to choose a good partner in life. It might happen that in the middle of your relationship you might do the same thing my parents did to me. You have to think about your child and what he or she is going to face if you happen to do the mistake my parents did. Stronger children might handle the situation but soft hearted ones might go through a hard time in their lives.
Please parents, don’t be so selfish and think about yourselves only but consider your poor children and what they might go through.
Please be cautious because you might end up hurting your own children and it might affect their personal lives too.

  • Liceanne Utah from Bougainville is in Grade 8 Purple at New Erima Primary School. These two stories are from a school writing project coordinated by If you want to support this initiative or donate any used books to the school, you can email the coordinator Betty Wakia on [email protected]

One thought on “SCHOOL WRITING

  • A very truthful and sad situations.
    It is true, when parents divorced, it is the child that gets affected the worst.
    The child feels insecure, their morality gets affected and goes down, and can very much affect their future.
    The sad part is when a child is raised by another different people altogether (apart from blood relatives or families) in another different place away from Mom’s or Dad’s place. And when the child sees other families with their children being together, and the particular child does not even have any relatives near, it becomes worse. Because the fact is, the child feels really alone, although the child got a guardian around, the child really feels lonely. There’s no parents, there’s no love, there’s no security, there’s nothing in this world for a child. The child’s morality breaks down, their child’s pride diminishes. There is no hope. The world feels like a blank space. The child feels no future. Very sad.
    Being through similar situations and felt the prick of it. Trust this; Divorce can be good for the wife and the husband, but the child (children) it is unhealthy for them.!

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