Single mum good as any dad

By REBECCA KUKU
I REMEMBER begging my mother on Thursday night to let me skip school the next day. But she said no and sent me to school on that Friday morning.
At around 11am, my classmates’ fathers started arriving at school and were brought into the classroom. Next to each of our seats were extra chairs placed for the fathers to sit in and soon, all the chairs were filled except for the one next to me.
And then the programme started and one after the other, the fathers stood and introduced themselves and told the class a little about their careers and then students in the class would then ask questions about their careers.
It was more like a career day. And I remember just sitting there, embarrassed, trying to work out what I would say when it was my turn.
After sometimes, I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was my mama, she had just come in, and she whispered in my ear and said, “Son, it’s our turn now.”
When we both stood in front of the classroom there was a stunned silence, because it was obviously “Bring Your Dad to School Day” and I remember the tears and the anger and the humiliation I felt during that silence.
But mama, she just smiled at everyone and she introduced herself and told the class that in life, there were many different families, some had a mother and father, others had only a dad and some like my family had only a mum and that it was okay.
She told them that she came to the “Bring Your Dad to School” Day, because she was my dad too. And then she started talking about her career and soon it was over. Mum and I, got a standing round of applause from the class.
And I remember, feeling so proud of her, my amazing brave mother. Every time, I hear people talking bad about single mothers, I think back to that day.
I was only six and my younger sister was three years old when Mama made the decision to leave our alcoholic and violent father. I grew up watching my father beat my mother. She would cover the bruises with make-up and go to work the next day. It got too much, one day, he threw her out of the car, beat her and kicked her when she fell on the side of the road. He tore her clothes and left us there with her on the side of the road as he sped off into the night with his six packs beer.
A police unit, patrolling the area found us. Mama was unconscious, I put her head in my lap as my little sister who believed in fairy tales at that time was kissing her awake like in the story of “Snow White”.
The constable, after finding us brought mum to the hospital and after mum was stabilized, he took us to his wife at the police barracks where we spent the next one week.
After mum was discharged, she applied for a transfer and we left our hometown and moved to the city with the big lights. Ever since then our mother did her best to give us the best of everything. We had a good home and attended a private school, everything we needed or wanted, she gave us.
She was only 27years old when she left our father but she never remarried. Her old excuse when asked by her family and friends why she hasn’t found herself a new boyfriend was always that she had her kids and didn’t need any man.
Our father, remarried and had other kids after us. He never reached out to me and my little sister and we, likewise have never tried to reach out to him as well. For like my mum had told my class back in 1999, she was my father.
Many times in Papua New Guinea, our society tends to look down on single mothers. There were many times, when people would whisper at our backs about our single mother. Some would even blame her for our father’s violent behaviour.
But as a son raised by a single mother, I can tell you that these women are something else. They say God wipes the tears of a crying mother and I think that is so true for single mothers, because God wipes away their tears.
They stand, they fight, and despite the odds, they ensure that their kids are provided for. They become the mothers and fathers of their children and me as a child of one, I can proudly say that I could not have had or asked for a better father than my single mum.