What is unhelpful angry behaviour?

The National Health Watch

How you behave when you are angry depends on how well you are able to identify and cope with your feelings, and how you have learned to express them.
Not everyone expresses anger in the same way.
For example, some unhelpful ways you may have learned to express anger include:

  • OUTWARD aggression and violence – such as shouting, swearing, slamming doors, hitting or throwing things and being physically violent or verbally abusive and threatening towards others;
  • INWARD aggression – such as telling yourself that you hate yourself, denying yourself your basic needs (like food, or things that might make you happy), cutting yourself off from the world and self-harming; and,
  • NON-violent or passive aggression – such as ignoring people or refusing to speak to them, refusing to do tasks, or deliberately doing things poorly, late or at the last possible minute, and being mocking or sulky while not saying anything openly aggressive or angry. If you find yourself expressing your anger through outward aggression and violence, this can be extremely frightening and damaging for people around you – especially children.

And it can have serious consequences: it could mean you lose your family, job and get into trouble with the law.
In this case, it’s very important to seek treatment and support.
But even if you are never outwardly violent or aggressive towards others and never even raise your voice, you might still recognise some of these angry behaviour and feel that they are a problem for you.
For example, you turn your anger inwards and self-harm or deny yourself food.

Next week’s edition – What does anger feel like?