A lesson my late dad left for us

The National People

By THOMAS DILU
AMERICAN evangelist Billy Graham once said: “No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, and it still hurts very deeply.”
On Sunday morning, June 2, 2019, I was in my Divine Word University Blessed Peter Torot dormitory, Room Two in Madang with my laptop opened, and notes showing on screen, when my phone rang.
It was my uncle from home. He told me that my dad David Dilu had passed away at our Eight-Mile home in the National Capital District.
I was lost and couldn’t speak. Broken in spirit, I was drowning in a pool of sorrow, with pain and anguish. I would not be able to see, hear, or speak with him ever again.
It was three days before my Semester One exam at the DWU when I received the call that would change the entire course of my life.
When I first saw the call, I expected to receive news from home on how much money I was being sent to pay for personal items such as soap powder, new clothes, or even a decent lunch. Those who have walked that same path know what I am talking about.
I was into those thoughts when my uncle told me: “Sorry my son, dad passed away this morning. He is no longer with us.”
Those painful words I still can remember today, as if it happened yesterday, or just a few hours ago.
It was my first experience of what many refer to as the saddest and lowest point of one’s life when losing a loved one. In my case, a father.
We are from Pukum village, Jimi, Jiwaka. My late dad married my mother Betty from Gapal village also in Jimi. I am the fourth eldest in a family of three girls and three boys.

“ But then I realised that he had sacrificed much of his life to make sure that I and my siblings get educated and live a better life than his.”
My dad’s tomb, with my mother Betty Dilu and uncle Clement. – Pictures Courtesy of THOMAS BINAN DILU

It took a bit of time to digest that devastating news from home on that Sunday morning. Worse, it came in the middle of my preparations for the end-of-semester one exam scheduled for Thursday that week, June 6, 2019.
On the days leading up to my exam, I could not eat nor sleep well. And it suddenly dawned on me how much I missed him. The temptation to just give up my education and withdraw from university flashed through my mind.
But then I realised that he had sacrificed much of his life to make sure that I and my siblings get educated and live a better life than him.
I recalled what my uncle had told me on the phone, that I must stay strong, because my dad wanted me to complete my education and get a degree.
Those words kept me going and helped me through those dark days leading up to my Semester One exam on that Thursday, and throughout my final year in 2020 at DWU.
To cut to the chase, I completed my exam on that Thursday, and travelled home for his funeral during my two-week holiday. I returned to the university to complete the 2019 academic year.
In 2020, I was able to retain my scholarship (HECAS), which I dropped out of in 2018 and 2019. In 2021, I graduated with a Bachelor in Communication Arts degree.
My late dad, my hero, would have turned 64 on March 16 last week. I knew during the graduation ceremony in 2021 that he would have been proud of me. That degree was achieved because of his desire that I have a better life through a good education. I believe that wherever he is right now, he is a happy and satisfied dad.
As the late US Senator Edward Kennedy once said: “You see, my father taught me that even our most profound losses are survivable. And that is, it is what we do with that loss, our ability to transform it into a positive event -that is one of my father’s greatest lessons.”