Column 1

Sorry ma’am
Sorry Missy Kwin. We promised to apologise to you if we win. But we needed the victories more. We hope to excel too over your cricket, netball and rugby union teams in the not too distant future. You will understand that we are developing. Slowly but surely.
Buried inside
Understandably the British tabloids have buried the Lions’ rugby league loss to PNG in the inside pages. It is embarrassing coming so soon after their recent Rugby World Cup finals loss to the Springboks in Japan.
So lame
Oh and this must be the lamest of excuses. British players are blaming their recent losses in international matches to the distraction of the general election next month. Yeah right. Next please.
Core group
The general consensus is to maintain this Kumuls combination up to the next world cup. Maybe make a few changes in case of injuries but this should be the core group.
No more loans
One mobile network used to offer “loans” when you run out of credit. They notify you. Now it has stopped. No explanation. Times are indeed tough.
Welcome back
Colleague after at least six months on the wagon visited his favourite watering hole last Friday. He was greeted by the workers like he had just come back from the dead. They must be missing his wallet.
Power outage
The intermittent power outages are causing businesses a lot. Families too will lose their electrical appliances including the fridge and television.
Cannot sweat
Prince Andrew says he has a “peculiar medical condition” which leaves him unable to sweat. He is defending himself to Virginia Roberts’ claims that he was “sweating profusely” before they were intimate as he “plied her with vodka” when she was 17.
Seven keys
The seven keys to life are: God first, love one another, never hate, give generously, live simply, forgive quickly, always be kind.