Column 1

Excuse to leave
A company director called a staff meeting yesterday in Port Moresby to brief them about the “probable” case of coronavirus identified by authorities. He walked into his office. After a while, he came out to see the office deserted.
Skipping excuse
Yes, many people will use the coronavirus as an excuse to skip work and stay home. It’s unfair on your colleagues who are then forced to do the extra to cover for you.
Sports vacuum
Sports fanatics are wondering what to do during weekends now that major organised sports including the Intrust Cup have been cancelled. One suggests elbow training.
Social distancing
Social distancing means different things to people. This guy chose to wear a giant donut in public to enforce social distancing. Some view him as a hero..
Theft from church
A church warden in Norwich, England says toilet papers have been stolen from the St. Mary and St. Margaret’s Church in Sprowston. The church restrooms are open to the public every day, usually used by those visiting the cemetery and for community group meetings.
Divorce hurdle
Judge at divorce court asks husband and wife: You have three children. How are you going to divide them?
Husband (after consulting wife for some time): “Okay sir. We will come back next year with one more.”
Nine months later, they had twins.
Work from home
This is what may happen as a result of the “work from home” plan.
No patience
An old man jumped the queue at a restaurant in Port Moresby yesterday telling the waitress he was paying in cash and should be served first. The waitress refused. After he was eventually served, he said Thank You and God bless. A God-fearing person with no patience.
Thought for today
Rise above the storm and you will find sunshine – Mario Fernandez