Column 1 – The National

Early campaign
It’s less than 18 months to the next general election. Early campaigning has already started, if you have not noticed. The early bird catches the worm.
Sweet talk
Voters should start looking back at those I’ll-do-this and I’ll-do-that promises by MPs in the 2017 general election to see if they have been kept. Good luck.
Using Facebook
When one is using “facebook” to take a nap during office hours. Must be a late night last night.
Bend down
Colleague was told by his female doctor to bend down for an injection in his bum. He looked at her worryingly. She quickly explained that what she meant was to bend forward.
Soccer and sex
From a reader: There are terms used in soccer that relate to sex, such as “own goal” when you are not using a condom.
No cash
So irritating when you join the queue at the ATM only to find out, when it is your turn, that there is no more cash in the damn machine. What did you do wrong?
Pal’s secret
According to psychologists, if your friend speaks less but speaks fast, he keeps secrets.
Thought for today
Stop boasting about how handsome and beautiful you are. Remember that baboons and gorillas too attract tourists.
Top quote
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci