Column 1

Condom mania
A woman found a used condom in her boyfriend’s trousers pocket. All hell broke loose as she interrogated her man for hours about the smelly, used rubber. After she cooled down her boyfriend said; “Honey, I only used the condom to polish my shoe.”
Reverse gear
Two female lawyers each representing two different parties appeared before a judge to seek an adjournment for a case. The judge suggested Aug 11 as it was the only date available in his schedule. One of the lawyers asked for the case to be moved back. The judge smiled and asked the lawyer. “So you want to move using the reverse gear again?”
Good samaritans
A female colleague was robbed of her belongings by a lone bandit at Badili yesterday morning. But thanks to a few good samaritans her bag was returned to her with all her valuable items still intact.
Size 28 day
All you Milne Bay people don’t go to Sir John Guise Stadium to hold your celebration day this Saturday. The stadium venue management made a double booking and the new venue is now the Gordon Secondary school. A typical Samarai person would say; “Please that one how.”
Wise man
During the late Nelson Mandela’s university days his professor asked him; “Mr Mandela, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with money, which one would you take?” Mandela responded; “The one with the money. Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”
Top quote
“Problems in the police force are beyond the control of the police commissioner or the police minister. Every police officer should be reminded to uphold human rights,” Justice Panuel Mogish.