My dad, my first love

By BOURA GORU KILA
IT is often said that a father is a son’s first hero, and a daughter’s first love.
So true. My late dad Goru Kila, from Imuagoro village in Rigo, Central, who passed away on Feb 1 last year, would always remind me to live life to the fullest and focus on positive things.
When I was having problems, when I didn’t have a good day, when I was sad and worried, or even when I was having the best day, he would message me or call me to remind me of that advice.
I remember him for those words, and realised their importance only after he had passed away. I think about him and his words, and try to call him back. But it’s too late. I don’t have a dad to talk to now. He’s gone just like that. Gone in a blink of an eye. Oh, how I miss him. It’s beyond measure.
I lost dad last year when I was away in Madang with my spouse and children. On that fateful morning, he called to say goodbye. I was caught off guard.
He said: “My daughter, I’m dying now. Look after your children and husband and worry about your future, goodbye my Bou….” Those were his final words to me. That was the last time I heard him speak to me.
I cried the whole morning, the whole day and into the night. I was so broken. To cut the story short, we (my spouse and our three children) flew from Madang the next day, only to see his lifeless body.
And that is my biggest regret, coming home to my dad’s dead body. I wish he was still breathing when I arrived. I wish he could talk to me one more time.
Those who lost their dads would know where I’m coming from, would feel my pain and would have asked the same questions.
Now I find peace when I remember the word of the Bible which says that God gives and God takes.
So my advice to those of you who still have your dad around today is to love him like there’s no tomorrow, live life together and focus on the positive things together because death is inevitable.
Dad Goru Kila was born on March 30, 1965, and was a teacher by profession. He was married to Joyce Goru Kila and had seven children – four boys and three girls.

“ And that is my biggest regret, coming home to my dad’s dead body. I wish he was still breathing when I arrived. I wish he could talk to me one more time.”

He had four brother and two sisters. Two brothers and a sister are still alive.
He completed elementary and primary education (to Grade Sux) at the Vatugoro Primary School at home.
He was selected to attend the Kwikila High School, now Secondary School, for Grades Seven to 10 from 1976 to 1980. In 1981, he attended the Sogeri National High School for Grade 11 and Grade 12.
In 1983, he was selected by the University of PNG for a Science Foundation programme to 1987. He graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree, majoring in Mathematics.
He was the only student from the village at that time to have gone to Sogeri then to UPNG. He was a pioneer student from our village.
He later completed a Post-Graduate Degree in Education course at UPNG in 1988.
He started his teaching career in 1989 at the Keverat National High School, before being posted to Passam National High School, Aiyura National High School, Sogeri National High School, Coronation International High School in Lae, Kwikila Secondary School, Kupiano Secondary School, Laloki Secondary School and Port Moresby Institute of Matriculation Studies.
His was promoted to Senior Standard Officer (inspector) for Gulf until he resigned in 2021 for medical reasons.
He had been serving in the Education Department for more than 30 years. His service was recognised by the department months before he passed away.
He is survived by his wife and children Prophet Genesis, Boura, Vesco, Keitu, Esau, Kingston and Marshall.
He is loved beyond words. I miss my dad beyond measure.
The words of Harper Lee (Go Set a Watchman) come to mind: “She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father.”
My dad, indeed, my first love.