There must be tougher penalties

 THERE is a saying in a certain village community that when a girl or a woman dies before her first child, she goes away with a sealed bilum bag denying her family and community the gifts meant for them. 

Death snatches the bag and the unseen gifts therein and they are forever gone. 

The bilum in this parable speaks of the womb and the gifts are the children that the deceased girl or woman would bear if she were alive and married. The reality of this is particularly true for communal village societies where everyone is related to nearly everyone else. 

They all share the pain of tragedy or rejoice in triumph together.  

A village in Lumusa district, Western Highlands, has suffered just such a loss over the weekend when a young woman was stabbed to death by the jealous wife of a man she was alleged to have had an adulterous affair with. Unfortunately, she adds yet another figure to the increasing number of young women or wives in polygamous marriages who face such tragedies throughout Papua New Guinea.  

These are tales of love gone horribly wrong. However, the purist would be quick to point out that these adulterous or extra-marital relations are mistakenly labelled as love affairs as they are driven by something other than love.

The community accepts that a stable marriage is founded on love and that kind of marriage is treated with sanctity and respect.

It is common sense and dictated the way of life long before Christianity reached this country only to reinforce that which has been in existence for generations.

Any flouting of the established standards and mores ended up in public scorn at best or death at worst.

Simi Kewa, the village councillor in whose ward the weekend incident happened, reported it to police and the media and warned other young women to stay away from married men.

As a village and community leader, Kewa was obviously concerned that young women were placing their lives in grave danger by engaging in adulterous affairs with married men.

In the Lumusa incident our story yesterday did not say whether the deceased was a married woman but the death may have caused suffering and a sense of loss for all concerned.

Obviously, the family of the dead woman would suffer the greatest loss but the suspect now in police custody at the Mt Hagen police station stands to be charged with wilful murder or manslaughter, crimes that carry lengthy custodial sentencing.  

While she is being reman­ded and awaiting trial in the National Court, her immediate family and relatives will suffer. The immediate family will face difficulties without her presence while her clan may be threatened with the possibility of a payback killing. The man in the middle of this tragic affair will probably get away with a lesser charge, if any, and that is the sad reality that our womenfolk, especially wives suffering neglect by their husbands.

It is a reality that people like Councillor Kewa are urging us to avoid. He has urged young women especially to not run after married men but look for young single men if they want to get married properly and raise stable families.

There may be any number of reasons for young girls and women to seek relations with married men, which may include security, money and material wealth or simply meeting unfulfilled sexual desires.

The incident referred to has become public knowledge because it was reported to police and the media. However, there are many more such incidents that have gone unreported, which goes to show that men in this country still do not respect women, even the well-to-do married men of our society who lure girls or other married women with their wealth. And the susceptible female, drawn either by economic circumstances or simple daring, falls for their charms and healthy bank accounts by putting their lives in grave danger.

It is time to treat adultery with the same degree of gravity as its possible causes such as death and loss. 

A current K1000 fine on either party is almost laughable considering what a jealous wife or husband can do.  

Tougher penalties such as custodial sentences should be sanctioned for extra marital affairs.